The Real Harry Potter
by peregrin01
Summary: JKR has a big dark secret: Harry Potter is not her intellectual property... because he is real. And he is coming...
1. Chapter 1

How it all began...

**AN:** _I don't own Harry Potter and I don't own J.K._Rowling_ In fact, J.__K._Rowling_ is a living person so she can't be owned. The question is, does JKR really own Harry Potter?  
Chronology (in relation to the real world) was tweaked and is not entirely accurate.  
Also, I know very little about judicature._

Joanne Rowling sat in her favourite café. Her daughter Jessica was with her. The cup of coffee on the table had gotten cold but she didn't mind. She was scribbling something in her notebook. Then she dropped her pencil and stretched her back. After a while, she started to leaf through one of the screenplays in front of her. It was for one of the Star Wars films. Then she dropped the screenplay and opened the second book of the Lord of the Rings.

After a few minutes, she stopped working again and massaged her temples. It was hopeless. She was divorced, unemployed and with a small daughter on her hands. She was trying to escape from that misery through writing but even that wasn't going well. She had assembled many elements from popular films and books to use in her book but she missed a hero.

It wasn't so easy to come up with a catchy hero as one might think. At first, she had thought about a woman. A poor, unemployed, divorced women with a kid. Then she had realized that she had been thinking about herself and had changed her mind. The second attempt had not been much better: a man. A poor, unemployed, divorced man with a kid.

An hour later, the café became full and the owner told JKR that he needed her table. She didn't want to buy another coffee so she went home. When she was halfway home, it started to rain. She hid in a narrow side-alley where she and her daughter were reasonably protected from the rain.

As JKR was putting a plastic cover on her daughter's baby-coach and as she was taking out her umbrella from her bag, two urban lowlifes crept behind her. The men looked at each other and then drew flick-knives.

"Give us all your money! Now!" shouted one of them.

JKR froze and turned towards them. She completely froze and wasn't able to do anything.

"Are you deaf?!" barked the other man. "The money!"

JKR somehow forced her body to move and took out her purse. One of the men snatched it.

"What's this?! Only five pounds?! Where's the rest?" shouted the man after he opened the purse.

JKR started to stutter and after a while, she managed to say, "That's all I've got."

The two men looked at each other. That wasn't in their plan. Then they regained their composure.

"Nonsense! You surely have a lot of money somewhere." said one of the men.

The other one added, "Yeah. We've got a theory about that, you see. Mothers with kids are bound to have a lot of money. You see, mothers with kids are married to rich husbands who have good jobs. So..."

"Stop explaining our work to our victim you dolt!" interrupted him the first one.

JKR stuttered, "But... but I'm divorced. I live on a welfare."

The two men looked at each other. Then Jessica started to cry and the whole situation became really lame.

To save their face, one of the men pointed his knife at JKR and ordered, "Give that bag here! We'll look ourselves."

Suddenly, another person arrived at the scene.

"I think that this is the time when you should go away." said a voice behind the two men.

They turned around and saw a very young man. One of the lowlifes approached him with his knife ready to strike.

"What do you want asshole? Are you looking for something? Troubles maybe?" he said.

The lips of the young man twitched but he controlled himself and replied, "Me? One would say that it's you two who are looking for troubles."

"Yeah? And who is going to cause them to us, heh? You asshole?"

The lips of the young man twitched again and he challenged the lowlife, "Call me asshole one more time. Please."

"You are asshole, asshole."

The young man then moved towards the criminal. The criminal thrust with his knife but the young man easily evaded. Then he grabbed his arm, twisted it and in a blink of an eye, the criminal had the tip of his own knife on his neck. The young man was holding him from behind. The other lowlife panicked and decided to take JKR as hostage. She tried to fight him off and then it happened - the young man reached out with his hand. Some kind of kinetic energy soared through air and the lowlife was disarmed and knocked back. The young man slammed the criminal he was holding in a wall and approached the disarmed one. But the criminals weren't waiting for anything and ran away. The youngster let them go and turned his attention to JKR.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

JKR clearly wasn't okay - she was quite shaken.

"It's over, they are gone." he continued. Then he bent over the baby-coach and looked at the crying baby.  
"Gutchy, gutchy." he told to little Jessica.

After a while, JKR calmed down. The young man wanted to go since he had got something very important to do. However, being a perfect gentleman, he felt an obligation to stay for a while.

And then JKR's tongue finally untangled and she asked, "How did you do that?"

"Did what?" asked the young man.

"You disarmed him. With some kind of force, like a Jedi."

The young man just laughed and then said, "You are in shock. I think you need a cup of hot cocoa. What's your name?"

"Joanne... Rowling."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Rowling. I am Potter. Harry Potter."

***

**Eleven years later:**

Harry and his wife Ginny returned from a mission. They separated from the non-psi-ops who had been on the mission with them and after a brief respite, they set out for the debriefing room. On their way, they entered the command center of the psi-ops program. It was filled with computers, big screens and cubicles.

"Hey! Yet another total success." greeted them Ron, Ginny's brother.

"Yep." replied Harry and then asked, "Listen, were you on your guard today? Because of you know what?"

"Oh yeah. I watched everybody like a hawk. Nothing today."

Then they were approached by a woman in a white lab coat. It was Hermione, Ron's wife.

"Hey guys," she told them. "Would you come in the research center later? I have something to show you."

While both men were distracted, Ginny crept away with a foxy smile on her face. She winked on a guy and he gave her a package of blue-tack. Then she passed a woman who gave her a piece of paper. Ginny then worked her telekinesis. Pieces of blue-tack shot through the air and landed on a nearby cross wall. Then the paper discreetly flew towards the wall as well. Harry looked at Ginny and she just smiled at him, no concentration was visible on her.

"OK. See you later." said Harry to Ron and wanted to proceed with Ginny to the debriefing room. Suddenly, he froze. He saw the paper on the wall.

"Ron!" he shouted.

Ron came and looked in the direction in which Harry was looking. On the paper was a caricature of Harry and Ron in a middle of something that could be only described as a very disgusting pornographic interaction between two members of the same gender. It was clearly downloaded from the Internet since the men on the drawing didn't look like Harry and Ron but like certain famous actors.

"Who did this?! Who put it here?!" yelled Ron and tore the paper down.

Harry angrily looked around and saw a bunch of people watching the scene. He approached them and menacingly repeated Ron's question. Then he remembered something he saw in a certain adaptation of Peter Pan.

"I know who it was!" he said and pointed in the middle of the bunch. "It was you. Yes, you!"

Harry kept pointing with his finger and advancing. The people in front of him were stepping away. But in the end, instead of ending with one suspect, he wound up pointing at a water tank.

In the meantime, Ginny came to Ron, took the paper from his hands and loudly said, "Oh come on people! This is not funny and it's disgusting. Harry and Ron are not homos!"

People started to laugh when they saw her stern expression, especially those who knew about her participation in the matter.

"This is nothing to laugh about!" continued Ginny. "Do Hermione and I have to show you that they are really hetero?"

The waves of laughter got even stronger after that.

"What the hell is happening here?!" boomed general Kingsley's voice suddenly. Everybody fell silent.

Ron approached him and told him, "Sir. They did it again." and showed him the picture.

"Well, well. That's serious." said Kingsley and looked at Ginny. When she grinned, he continued, "Check the security cameras' records them."

After the debriefing, Harry and Ron met in the security room.

"Okay, here it is. There is no picture on the wall now." said Ron as he was playing the record frame by frame. "Then this man passes and when he is gone, the picture is there."

Harry stroke his chin and said, "I know him, he is a prude. There is no way how he could put a picture of such a nature there."

And so the mystery of the offending pictures was left unresolved.

Harry and Ginny took a walk home then (the lived in a bungalow at the base). Harry was silent and Ginny decided to breake the silence.

"Is it such a big problem that..." she asked.

"Yes honey, it is. It offends me." interrupted her Harry.

Ginny sighed and said, "Somebody is just having a bit of fun. Are you so much peevish that you can't even take a joke anymore?"

"This is not about what happened today. What is happening at the HQ is a mere remainder of what is happening around the whole planet. My name is a laughing stock. That stupid, ungrateful ink-jerking woman made me look like a complete idiot. And do you know what is even worse? Those pathetic fanfiction writers. Especially those who write slash. Why do they think that I would ever want such relationship with Ron? It's disgusting."

Ginny felt a pang of guilt. She decided to make up for it and pressed herself more tightly to Harry and proposed, "You know, Lily and James are probably asleep by now if they obeyed Hermione and went to bed."

Harry's breathing quickened. He grabbed Ginny's hand and they ran for the rest of the way.

They found a note from Hermione in their kitchen. It said something about Lily's homework being checked by her. Ginny and Harry then took a quick peek on their children. Both James and Lily were soundly sleeping. However, Harry noticed a book in Lily's hands.

"What's that?" whispered Harry curiously. Lily was barely able to read and the book didn't look like a picture one. He silently crept in the room and took a closer look. His eyes widened and anger flashed through his face when he saw the title on the cover. He took the book, walked out of the room and closed the door.

"Look what I've found." said Harry and showed it to Ginny. The title read: "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone."

"Well, it seems that she's got something to read when we were away." said Ginny.

They went to the living room and Harry said, "How could Hermione let her buy such a thing? Doesn't she know how I feel about this?"

"Well, as I know Hermione, they probably visited a book store while we were away. Lily could hide it among the other books they were buying."

Harry grunted as he took it all in. His own daughter was reading a literature that was ridiculing his name. A literature that invaded his privacy and stole his name. That was the last straw. Harry's fingers gripped more tightly on the book and a bit of power was accidentally released. However, it was unfocussed and volatile. Every bit of the book was suddenly pushed or pulled in a random direction and it burst in a cloud of paper tatters.

"That's it!" said Harry angrily (but he still perfectly controlled the volume of his voice - he didn't want to wake kids). "I've let JKR to get rich on my name without my permission. I've let WB to make those stupid films. I've let that mannequin and stripper to play my character. And I've even let all of that to make people doubt my sexuality! But I have enough! Do they want a war? Then they will have one! Muhahahaha! Hahahaha!"

Ginny watched as Harry whispered his madmanish monologue. She was worried. When Harry finished his hushed evil laugh, Ginny asked: "Honey? Are you OK?"

"Uhm... Yes, yes. I'm sorry, I've got to go."

"Where?"

"I need to talk to Ron."

"Now? It's night."

"Yeah, I know. It's important."

"OK. Tell him to return that CD I've lent him."


	2. Chapter 2

Lawsuit

The inner circle of the cult stood in the middle of the room. They looked like Ku Klux Klan but their capes were black.

They were joined by their leader.

"Hail my friends!" he said.

The others murmured their greetings.

"Paul, what do you have to report?" continued the leader.

"My men started the monitoring activities, Tom. No complications so far." responded Paul.

"Good, good. Then we can say that today we have finally took the first step towards the liberation of our literature from that poison."

The others cheered in response.

***

Kingsley, Harry, Ron and others sat around a conference table. They were discussing the current situation (terrorists with nuclear bombs - yawn, drug lords in South America on rise - yawn, yawn).

When they finished, Ron stood up and asked for the floor. He looked briefly at Harry and then said, "And now, we would like to propose something."

"Who is we?" asked Kingsley.

"Harry and me." answered Ron.

"How unexpected." sang Ginny. "I bet I know what it is."

Ron ignored her and began his speech, "I'm confident that all of you know what's the problem. This... this cultural poison enveloped the entire planet and now, now it started to corrupt this very base and it's personnel as well. It disrupts the discipline here and it has negative effect on our work. We can't..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know this already. Get to the point." said Kingsley.

"The point is." cut Harry in, "That we are finally going to stop this. Once and for all. Muhaha... uhm, sorry."

People were looking at Harry and Ron for a few moments. Then Hermione asked, "And? What are you going to do?"

"We shall uproot this evi... stuff in its... roots. Muhaha." replied Harry.

"What? Are you going to shoot JKR? You can't be serious." asked Kingsley.

"Nope. We shall sue her." said Ron.

"Sue. Her?" asked Hermione.

"Yes! We shall fill a lawsuit against her, WB and maybe a few actors and fanfiction sites owners. That shall teach them!" confirmed Ron.

Harry and Ron grinned like idiots while others stared at them in disbelief. Finally Kingsley broke the silence.

"Guys. I hate to tell you this but how exactly do you want to do that? Are you going to go to the nearest judge and tell him, 'Hi. We are Ron Weasley and Harry Potter and we are in a super-mega-ultra top-secret project and we want to sue JKR?' Because, you know, this whole super-mega-ultra top-secret project is exactly that - secret. So Harry, it's not like you can reveal your powers to anybody."

"Oh, we already thought about that." said Ron. "A lot of people owe us a favor. So we can ask them for a permission of such a disclosure. Of course, only the essentials will be disclosed and everybody will have to sign a confidentiality agreement."

Kingsley laughed at that and said: "Wow. You want to start a trial where defendants actually have to sign a confidentiality agreement? And what if they don't? They won't be sued? Now, wait a minute - what would I do, if I were the defendant and had to do such thing in order to be prosecuted, hm? I really don't know, it's a difficult choice..."

Ron looked at Harry, who was suddenly speechless. Ron then looked at other people around table until his eyes rested on his wife.

"Hermione?" he whispered. "Do you have any bright ideas? I'll do anything you'll want. Anything. Wink, wink."

"Did you just say 'wink' in direct speech?" replied Hermione. "Eh, no matter. I want you to go with me to a theatre of my choice."

"What? Ergh! As you wish."

Hermione then addressed everybody, "Very well then. I think there is a precedence."

"There is?" asked Ginny.

"Yes. However, it was entirely different case. We shall have to do more then call a few favors from our friends in military. We'll need support of the Defence Department and they need to push the Department of Justice and we'll also need the prime minister's support."

The others just gaped at her but she wasn't finished.

"And if we want to suit WB, we'll have to bring our friends in US Army in this and their departments of defence and justice. And probably the president as well."

"Well, that won't be a problem." said Kingsley. "We have evidence that he is connected to bin Laden. I wanted to blackmail him into publicly saying that Moore is a great film director but this is fun as well."

And so, the plan was set in motion. Powerful heads in army and government were shaking over this unusual matter. Some of them promised their help after a while, some others required a lot of persuasion. And those who didn't know about the psi-ops even started to laugh when they heard that Harry Potter wanted to sue JKR. But in the end, all of them agreed to lend their support.

***

JKR closed a "The Tales of Beedle the Bard" copy a put her pen on her desk. Then she stretched her arms and went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine.

As she was drinking, she heard a car outside. Then the bell rang. Ten minutes later, she met two gentlemen in black suits.

"Ms. Rowling, we are really embarrassed to be here today." said one of them after the pleasantries were exchanged.

"What is this about?" asked JKR.

"I'm afraid there's another." said the other gentleman a gave JKR an envelope. It was a summon.

A silent anger began to boil in JKR's veins after she opened it. Why people couldn't leave her alone?

"The good news are that we managed to silence the plaintiff. We thought that it would be better for you if the press never heard about this. That way you can avoid all the commotion and stupid questions from reporters."

"Well... that's unusual." replied JKR.

"Indeed. We don't ordinary do this but you aren't an ordinary citizen." said one of the men and smiled.

JKR briefly scanned the summon and then asked, "What is this? I am actually required to be at the process?"

"Yes, we wanted to bring this to your attention. As much as the judge wants you to be bothered by this case as least as possible, he agreed that demandant's request for you as a first witness in this case is justified. It was also a condition of demandant's silence. However, if you go there, you can kill this case before it even begins."

After both men left, JKR contemplated her options. The whole thing brought a bitter feeling in the back of her mouth. Then she went to a phone to call her lawyers.

When she picked up the phone, she suddenly froze. The whole thing stank. A thought came up at a corner of her mind. Then she shook her head and discarded it.

***

Tom was writing something on his notebook. There was a knock on the door.

"Enter." said Tom and quickly saved and closed his text. Paul entered.

"Something's happening." said Paul and then explained.

"That's outrageous!" exclaimed Tom. "Now even governments are dealing with those people! Do you know what is it about?"

"No. But the men are continuing to watch the situation. Maybe we could use this."

***

About a month after receiving the summon, JKR and her two lawyers (only two - for the time being) arrived to a building in London. It was strange - JKR and her lawyers didn't recolect that the building housed a court. Nevertheless, they went in.

At the entrance, they were met by the same men in black suits who delivered the envelope. They ushered them inside.

After a few moments, they arrived in a lobby. A surprise awaited them there. There were several other people already. JKR recognized a guy who was working on the last HP movie and who consulted some issues with her in the past. JKR's lawyers recognized some of the other people as lawyers employed by WB.

"What is this about?" asked JKR. The waiting people just shrugged their shoulders.

"May I have you attention please?" addressed them one of the men in black. "It seems that everybody is here, we can begin. But before we go in, there is one last issue to be taken care of. It's probable that during this case, some information protected by state secrecy will be revealed to you. So, you have to sign a confidentiality agreement."

"What?" exclaimed one of the WB lawyers. "We don't have to sing anything. What are you going to do? Cancel the process?"

"On the contrary. The lawsuit would continue but you would be like blind. So it's in your own interest to sign it."

"This is ridiculous!" shouted one of JKR's lawyers. "Do you know who are you talking to? When the press hears about this, you will loose your jobs!"

"Are you threatening a government employee?" said a new voice.

Everybody turned. JKR gasped. It was Harry Potter. A man that, as she convinced herself, was only her imagination.

Harry casually strolled in the middle of the small gathering and told to JKR, "Nice to see you again, long time no see. Can you sign this and tell you friends to do the same so we can continue? Please?"

Without another word, JKR signed the paper and told her lawyers to do the same. The WB expedition did the same after a brief hesitation.

When everybody signed, they went inside the courtroom. The defendants looked at the judge and the assessors. They were all military.

"This is a military court?" asked one of the lawyers.

"Indeed." said general Kingsley who was already inside. Harry walked towards him and stood by his side.

The judge then called for attention and addressed the defendants, "Today, we gathered here in a truly historical lawsuit. There were a few similar cases so the mechanics involved are all preceded and legitimate. However, this is the first time when a civil suit was brought before a tribunal such as this. The agenda for this day is to formally open the case and to explain the situation to the defendant side. After that, the defendant side will be given a sufficient time for preparation. Then, we shall continue with this case as with an ordinary civil suit. I remind you all that this process is secret, even the potential out of court dealings. I strongly advise both sides to try to reach an agreement sooner or later. However, should this attempt fail, I assure the defendants that it's in the might of this court to enforce the outcome of this process."

The judge fell silent after that speech and beckoned to Harry and Kingsley.

"So Ms. Rowling, do you want to explain this to the others or should I do it?" asked Harry.

JKR was silent.

"Well, you can start by introducing me." continued Harry.

JKR remained silent.

"Please, can you tell them my name already? All of us are pretty busy people you know."

"What a hell is this all supposed to mean?" exclaimed one of the lawyers. "Is this some kind of joke? Who do you think you are to treat us like this? You have no..."

He didn't finish because Harry raised his hand and aimed it at him. The lawyer choked and then was lifted from the floor and pressed against a nearby wall. JKR's eyes widened and the guy from WB was shocked like never before. The lawyers just looked at their colleague in distress and bellowed like one man, "Objection! He is trying to intimidate the advocates of the defendants!"

The judge said, "Objection dismissed. The plaintiff is merely demonstrating the truth."

Kingsley then told Harry, "Enough of this. Release him Harry."

"As you wish general." replied Harry and released the lawyer.

"Harry?" whispered the guy from WB.

"Yes." nodded Harry and then addressed JKR one more, "Could you at least say my surname? It's rude to pretend that you don't know somebody when it's not true."

One of JKR's lawyers realized what was coming and took a breath to stop JKR from saying anything. But it was too late, for JKR weakly said, "...Potter."

"Noooo! Now you acknowledged that you know him!" cried the lawyer.

"Harry Potter? You are Harry Potter?" asked the guy from WB in disbelief.

"Yes, it's me. And this is general Kingsley Shacklebolt. And Ron Weasley is going to join us when the process starts."

And then the explaining started. Harry told everybody how he met JKR and how he helped her.

"And then I invited her on a cup of cocoa." he said. "I talked about my private life in hope that she will forget about my display of telekinesis. Unfortunately, she did not and created her own distorted version of my life. Names and relations remained same - I am really married to Ginny and her brother Ron is married to Hermione. And it's also true that I have supernatural powers."

Harry then continued to explain that JKR's and WB's work was making him unhappy and that it was ridiculing his name and his life. Kingsley added that it also had a disruptive effect on their work.

JKR's lawyers pleaded that if JKR's Harry and the real Harry are so much alike, then JKR's books don't actually refer to the real Harry and thus JKR's Harry is her own creation. The judge replied that there will be chance to prove it during the process.

WB's lawyers stated, that WB is not responsible for infringement of Harry's privacy since they legally bought the rights from JKR.

"That's true." said the judge. "However, the outcome of this process is likely to affect any Harry Potter films that you are going to release, if at all. So it's in your interests to be here."

"But the next movie is almost ready to go to theatres!" wailed the guy from WB.

When everything was cleared, the meeting was dismissed. Everybody on the defendant side had much to think about.


	3. Chapter 3

Process

Tom was again writing something on his notebook. An evil grin was on his face. And again, when Paul came with a report, he closed the window.

"Yes Paul?" asked Tom.

"We kept monitoring the situation for the past weeks and Tom, I think this is something huge. And at the same time, there is no press, nobody knows anything, it's all top-secret. Should we kidnap a few people and interrogate them?"

"No Paul, that would alert them. We need to stay invisible to the last moment."

"What do you think this is all about?" asked Paul.

"No idea, but I bet it's a huge international conspiracy. They probably want to use Harry Potter in some kind of propaganda. Not that it has to be something bad but do they have to use HP for that? Can't they use something else, like... like..."

"Like...?" pressed Paul.

"Well I don't know at the moment but there has to be something else that could motivate people as much as HP does."

"Yes! What about Shakespeare? A lot of his work could be transformed into modern themes!"

"Who?" asked Tom bewilderedly.

When Paul left, Tom again opened his document.

***

Harry, Ron, JKR, some people from WB and a bunch of lawyers were gathered in a conference room (in the same building where the court was). Ron was just having a heated speech, "...and now the whole world thinks that we are homos!"

"Excuse me, how is that fault of my mandant?" said JKR's lawyer.

"Hey dork, I wasn't speaking to you. Can't she speak for herself?"

There was a brief row and the lawyers on Harry's and Ron's side tried to calm Ron down. Ron then finished with, "Her books are promoting homosexuality, that can't be disputed!" and then offencedly sat down.

One of the WB guys couldn't hold it and exlaimed, "What? How can you say that? Harry Potter books and movies are about love and friendship!"

"Sure, love and friendship to the extreme and without regard to the genders of concerned people!" barked Harry. That caused another brief row.

"Excuse me please! Silence please!" shouted one of Harry's and Ron's lawyers. When he got it, he continued, "Ms. Rowling, I have here a record of a certain press conference. I would like to play it."

"There is no need for that!" opposed JKR's lawyer. "Everybody knows what was said in public."

"Very well then." continued Harry's lawyer. "Ms. Rowling, can you tell us why did you say that the fictional character named Albus Dumbledore who was supposedly very close to Mr. Potter was gay? Did you realize at the time what kind of light was that going to throw on Mr. Potter and indirectly on Mr. Weasley? Especially when you probably already knew about a large community of slash writers?"

JKR's lawyer wanted to say something but JKR silenced him by a gesture. Then she spoke for the first time after a long time, "That part of Dumbledore's relationship with Grindelwald was not a part of the story of Harry Potter. It wasn't my intention to promote homosexuality and my work doesn't do it in my opinion."

"Well Ms. Rowling, I'm afraid that opinion of the rest of this planet slightly differs from yours. Are you trying to tell me that you had no idea what influence was your statement going to have?"

However, JKR refused to answer that and resumed to letting her lawyers do the talking.

After half an hour, one of the defendant advocates exclaimed, "And what do you actually want from our clients? What do you want?!"

The opposing lawyers were dumbfounded a little and looked at Harry and Ron. They looked at each other and Ron said, "Well, that's obvious, isn't it?" and looked at Harry again.

Harry unsurely continued, "Yes, yes. Obvious. I mean, the whole planet thinks that we are... It's so disgusting and you ask us what we want?"

"Well humor us. What do you want?" pressed a lawyer.

Ron was silent and again looked at Harry who said, "Well, we want... uhm..."

Then suddenly, a voice coming from the ceiling said, "If I recollect correctly, you said something about stopping something once and for all and uprooting something in its roots. And you also said 'Muhaha'. Twice."

People looked upwards. The grate on the ventilation shaft opened and Ginny graciously dropped inside. Everybody was quite startled with the exception of Harry and Ron who were rather crestfallen.

Ginny then warmly smiled at JKR and asked, "Nice to meet you. Can you guess who I am?"

JKR blinked and then replied, "Ginny?"

"That's right. You got my physical appearance quite right."

"Harry talked about you when we were having cocoa. He said he was going to propose to you that day."

"Gin, what are you doing here?" asked Harry.

"Yeah, I thought you weren't interested in this." added Ron.

"Well I couldn't miss this. I tried to get Hermione here as well but she said that such a stupid matter would be an insult to her intellect."

"Stupid?" gasped Ron.

"Well I would say 'funny' instead. I really had a hard time suppressing my laughter for the last hour."

One of the lawyers unbelievingly asked, "You were up there since the beginning? Why?"

"Well, it's like watching our kids play 'terrorists and agents' - it's better when they don't know that they are being watched."

One of the WB guys stood up from his chair and told Ginny, "Excuse me. My daughter is really big fan of yours, she really admires you. I mean, your character."

Ginny looked at him and said, "Well, then you should remind her that my character is fictional. I haven't read the books nor watched the films but people told me that that character is nothing like me."

"Well, I expected as much since I heard about Harry Potter being real. Maybe if you... oh, nothing - the confidentiality agreement."

JKR then cleared her throat and asked Ginny, "You seam to be more at easy with things than your brother and husband."

"Well, there's not as many Ginny-Hermione shipping fanfictions as Harry-Ron ones. And honestly, I think this whole lawsuit is just as stupid as those books and films - no offence meant. However, what's not OK with me is the tension you brought in our homes. Harry and Ron are quite irritated by the whole thing and you should have seen Harry when he found the Philosopher's Stone in Lily's room - he started some kind of madmanish monologue like some kind of dark lord. I thought that you of all people would understand the value of the privacy of your family."

JKR thought for a moment and then said, "Well, of course I do. But all the books are out. I am still going to to release 'The Tales of Beedle the Bard' but those aren't about Harry Potter at all. And it's not like I can publicly apologize since this is all top-secret."

Ginny then excused herself and left and the whole debate again turned into a barely controlled row.

In the end, one of the defendant lawyers vehemently asked, "What concretely do you want us to do to make you happy?"

When Harry and Ron were unable to came with a realistic demand ("I want all of this to be stopped and I want my privacy again." wasn't one), the leading lawyer of WB said, "We wanted to cooperate with you and settle this matter but I see it's not possible! See you at the court, the judge will be surely happy to hear about this."

When they left and Harry and Ron remained alone with their lawyers, one of those lawyers said, "Hey guys, I can't believe that you came here without clear demands."

"Hey, we don't understand these things. I thought you had it in your hands." protested Ron.

A lawyer rubbed his forehead and then said, "Look guys, we didn't win this one. Before we do anything else, we have compile two lists of demands. One of those that can be legitimately enforced by law and the other one for an amicable settlement."

***

They were in the courtroom again.

"Your honor." said one of the WB lawyers. "We did everything we could to reach an accord. However, Messrs. Potter and Weasley deliberately sabotaged our effort from their side. They don't even have any demands! They just want to cause trouble like two attention-seeking troublemakers they are."

"Objection!" exclaimed a lawyer on Ron's and Harry's side. "I know for a fact that this is not true. Or is it Mr. Weasley?"

"Absolutely not! We have a list of demands, right here on these two papers. However, when we met with the other side, we didn't even got to them because we never reached a point where they would admit their fault. Instead, they just tried to confuse us with a lot of lawyerish argot. How could we start to work on fixing the things when they never admitted that we have right for our privacy!"

"That's a lie!" yelled a few of the opposing lawyers and were reprimanded by the judge.

Then both sides continued in their law-fight. There were no witnesses and experts giving statements. It was first proper session of the process and was meant to clarify the remaining legal and administrative issues.

Over the few following hours, some conclusions were agreed upon by the judge and and the assessors. One of them was that it was possible to make JKR make a public statement whose content would be dictated by the plaintiff side. However, the judge admitted that such a statement would be very limited because of the whole top-secret business.

It was also finally clarified that while it wasn't possible to take back JKR's books, it was still possible to do so with the unreleased films. The guys from WB vehemently opposed that (since they already put a lot of money in the upcoming film). The judge just advised them to make a compromise with the plaintiff side.

And lastly, Ron and Harry stated that a huge part of the image of their characters was being represented by the actors playing their characters. And so, on Harry's and Ron's insistence, the court agreed to bring them in the lawsuit. The lawyers representing WB objected that it would only complicate things. However, Harry and Ron were relentless. It was something they wanted to do since the beginning.

***

Ron and Harry drove back to the base. They both had smug smiles on their faces.

Harry looked in a back mirror and said, "Look at the car behind us."

Ron did so and replied, "Huh?"

"I think that car was following us for the last ten minutes."

"Well, it's possible. But Harry, could you lay off for now? I don't want the work to disrupt this moment."

"And what if they were sent by WB? That could discredit them and help us in the process."

"OK. Let's pull in that alley."

They did so and when they were obscured by a corner, Ron dived out of the car and hid behind a garbage container. The other car followed in.

Suddenly, Harry stopped and got out. He was hiding a gun behind his back. Ron started to approach as well.

"Get out of the car with your hands behind your back!" shouted Harry.

There was only a driver in the car. He looked behind him and briefly contemplated shifting into reverse and trying to escape. He took a deep breath and then reached in his pocket and put something in his mouth. Then he reached for the shifter. Harry saw him and shot. The bullet went through the wind-screen and hit the driver's shoulder.

Harry and Ron then quickly got to the car and opened the door. The driver was in spasm and foam was coming from his mouth.

"What the hell?" exclaimed Ron.

"Well, we need to call Kingsley." said Harry.

***

"He has no criminal records. Until now, he was a perfectly normal citizen." said Kingsley.

"Whoa. And he killed himself with a cyanide capsule." remarked Harry.

"It can only mean that there is somebody behind him. Like a huge corporation or something." said Ron.

"Somehow, I find it hard to believe that WB would send a suicidal agent after you." stated Kingsley.

"Yeah, they would rather send Bugs Bunny." laughed Harry. Everybody looked at him and he dropped his eyes down.

There was an investigation but nobody involved in the process recognized the body.

***

Tom, Paul and few others sat around a table.

"Does anybody know what happened?" asked Tom.

"No. But he is dead, that much we know for sure." replied Paul.

Tom closed his eyes and massaged his temples. Then he stated, "They went too far. They showed their true face and we have to act accordingly!"

He was met with murmurs of approval.


	4. Chapter 4

The more the merrier

_AN: Sorry for the "Harry's actor" stuff - I want to keep real names count on minimum._

A lawyer from WB knocked on the door of Harry's actor's lawyer's office. The man inside prompted him to enter.

"Good afternoon. I have to admit that I was surprised a bit when you called me. I didn't expect that so soon after our last meeting." said Harry's actor's lawyer.

"Yes, me neither. We have a situation on our hands." replied the WB lawyer.

"Are there any problems concerning my client?"

"Not on our side, nor on yours. There is a third party and they... they caused quite a mess that needs to be dealt with."

"I don't understand."

The WB lawyer then explained that he is bound by secrecy and then told him, what is expected from him and his client. Harry's actor's lawyer was quite confused by the while thing and voiced his confusion.

Hence, the WB lawyer added, "I assure you, it's pretty serious. It can quit your client's career as Harry Potter's actor."

"That's ridiculous. The contract is already signed! You can't cast somebody else."

"Exactly. If we fail to dissolve the situation, there will be no more HP films. Not even the one that is almost ready."

Harry's actor's lawyer just stared at the other lawyer with opened mouth.

***

The actors of Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione one by one arrived in the lobby of the building. Their advocates were with them.

They were ushered in a room where JKR awaited them. She had been asked to explain the situation to them a her lawyer had advised her to comply.

"Good morning Mrs. Rowling. Excuse me, but what is this all about?" asked Harry's actor.

JKR sighed and said, "It's a bit complicated. I'll explain everything in a while. I just want you to know that I'm sorry that you got caught in the middle of this. We tried to keep you out of it."  
JKR then took a stack of folders and continued, "Before I can tell you anything, you and your lawyers need to sign these confidentiality agreements."

The surprised lawyers took a look at the documents and one of them said, "Are you serious? This is like admission in alien technology research project."

"If you want to know what is this about, you need to sign this." replied JKR and nodded at Harry's and Ron's actors and told them, "You two are especially required in this. If you don't sign, there probably won't be any more HP films."  
Then she addressed Ginny's and Hermione's actors, "On the other hand, you ladies don't need to do this. You can go home if you want. However, we thought that you have a right to know this and in knowing this, be able to play better your characters."

After several minutes, everybody signed. JKR then started to explain, "It all started when I was still collecting ideas for my work..."

It took almost half an hour to explain everything. JKR told them about her encounter with Harry and her later subconscious denial of the whole incident. When she finished depicting recent development, the actors and their lawyers just stared at her.

After JKR was asked if it was a joke and after she assured that it was not, Ron's actor asked, "And what do they want?"

JKR answered, "I not sure they want anything. They didn't asked for money and they can't ask for a public apology. In fact, they didn't have any demands until lawyers from WB tried to use that fact against them. And since all the books are out, they'll probably just want to cause troubles for the yet unreleased films."

When Hermione's actor collected herself, she said, "But they have no right to do this. This is no proper way to conduct a process. It's so shady and based on intimidation. They bound our hands in such a way that prevent us from defending ourselves should this process turn unfair. Why don't we just ignore them and make this public if they try anything?"

JKR contemplated for a moment and then replied, "Because not only law but ethic as well is on their side. It would be very hypocritical from me not to agree with them. As you know, Harry Potter in my books always wanted to be left alone and have a peaceful life. And as I was told, many fanfiction writers agree with me. Well, and this real Potter, he just want the same thing."

"Well, this whole situation reminds me more of the corrupted Ministry of Magic." pressed Hermione.

"Well, the corrupted Ministry didn't have Harry Potter on their side, did they?" replied JKR.

If hearing about their characters being real left the actors astonished, their first sight of Harry and Ron left them completely petrified. They sat down in silence and yet another session was initiated. Soon, Harry and Ron stated their demands on their actors.

"At first, you must not remove your clothes in public. Ever." demanded Harry while Ron was approvingly nodding.

"Excuse me." cut in one of Harry's and Ron's lawyers. "That means that you can't even do that for professional reasons. That means, not only no nakedness on public, but also on camera - even if nobody was around."

"In short, you can only take off your clothes in your bathroom and bedroom and only if you are alone and no recording devices are taking a picture of you." continued another lawyer. "Of course, you can have exceptions for reasons such as emergent surgery and so."

"But, but... What about the scene after Voldemort kills me in the seventh book?" asked Harry's actor.

"What? There will be some kind of sick scene where he removes clothes from your dead body?!" shouted Harry. A lawyer quickly whispered an explanation to him.

"That scene will be made differently. You won't be naked there." said the lawyer then.

"This first demand brings me to the next one. If you take off your clothes in the presence of your wife, then it's not counted as disrobing in public. Of course, only for as long as there is no third person or recording device and if you are in a secluded space where nobody can see you." continued Harry.

"But neither of us are married." objected Ron's actor.

"Yes, that's the point of our next demand. To prove any rumours about your (and your characters) homosexuality as false, you need to get married and sire a child. We aren't setting any firm deadline but don't take too long."

"That's ridiculous! You can't have any such demand!" exclaimed Harry's actor's lawyer.

After a brief discussion with their lawyers, Harry and Ron admitted that their demand is not legitimate.

Harry then proposed an alternative demand to his actor, "OK. But you definitely need to lead a more settled life from now on. No more dating affairs and mannequin stuff. I know you are quite tame in comparison to other celebrities but nevertheless. I also expect you to seriously start looking for a bride. I know it's a bit hard for you since you are famous and I know that heart can't be ordered so you can take your time."

"But I am too young!" opposed Harry's actor.

"Hey! I was already married when I was your age. And plus, you are filthy rich so money is no concern in this matter."

Ron then demanded the similar thing from his actor, but his demand wasn't so strict. The lawyers of the actors objected that such thing can't be demanded either.

"Excuse me, we can. There is a precedence." said one of the lawyers on Ron's and Harry's side and told them about a case where an actor was fired for taking drugs while he played a character who fought drug dealers.

After a while, they got to another major issue - the remaining HP films.

Harry said, "Some scenes from the yet unreleased film has to remade" (a guy from WB winced at those words) "and the following will be made differently from the beginning. But before that, you two have to undergo a basic military training to make you tougher."

"What?" exclaimed Harry's and Ron's actors.

"Don't worry. It will be easier then mandatory military training in some countries. And it will be a great plus for you further career."

They discussed the demand and even the actor's lawyers supported the idea.

Harry and Ron then told to Ginny's and Hermione's actresses that while their wives are pretty indifferent in the cause, they should consider taking the stated demands as suggestions and at least avoid negative publicity.

"And seriously, that super model image of yours is completely out of character." said Ron to his wife's actress in the end.

By a chance, the suicidal agent was also mentioned. Ginny's actress then proposed that they could try to show them the photo of the agent the next time they meet.

***

Tom, Paul and others were in the meeting room again.

"We still don't know what's going on, but they are all converging in that building." said Paul.

"That is our chance. We shall shall strike there. Have you secured the plans of that building?" asked Tom.

"Yes. Here it is. And we shall also try to interrogate somebody from inside. A cleaner or somebody like that."

Tom nodded and looked at the plan. "Hmm, let me think..."

***

A major session of the process was about to commence. The defendants were going to decide whether to comply to the demands.

As people were filling the room, Harry and Ron showed a photo of the suicidal agent to their actors. While Ron's actor didn't recognize the guy, Harry's did.

"Hey, I think I saw him once." he said.

"Where?" asked Ron.

"In a small anti-HP demonstration that one day gathered next to my way to the studio. I remembered him because he held a big sign and then tripped and fell on the ground."

"Have you noticed somebody stalking you lately?" asked Harry.

"No, I didn't see anybody. But I wasn't paying attention very much."

Ron then approached a security officer and told him, "Could you please get me a list of everything out of order that happened lately? Everything."

The officer nodded and walked away. The session then started.

Five minutes later, the officer returned and Harry went aside to talk with him.

"Is there anything?" he asked.

"Well, nothing important."

"Doesn't matter, tell me."

"A cleaner didn't show up for work yesterday and he seems to be missing today as well."

"Have you called him home?"

"Well, not yet. I mean, there wasn't much to clean..."

"Are you kidding me? Go and call him. Now!"

Harry then walked forth and addressed everybody, "Ecuse me. I'm sorry for interrupting but we might have a security situation here. Everybody stay calm please."

People started murmuring. Ron already wasn't sitting on his chair and was checking windows.

Harry continued, "It's probably nothing but I have to ask you this: have you recently noticed something unusual? Suspicious people following you to or from this building? Static in your phones? Anything, no matter how unimportant. What we are looking for is probably something that is seemingly so unimportant that wouldn't pay any attention to it. You see, I'm not talking about any blatant terrorist activity..."

As he was saying that, a small explosion shook the building. A digital clock on a wall switched off.

"What the bloody hell was that?" cried Ron's actor.

"Hey, that was good." complimented him Harry's actor.

"Thanks."

People started to panic. Harry and Ron drew their guns and Ron opened his cell to call Kingsley.

Kingsley, Ginny and Hermione were sitting and standing in front of a computer. They were watching an Internet video where puppet caricatures of HP characters were singing a song. Kingsley's cell rang and he immediately turned it off.

"Sir, shouldn't you take it? I can pause it you know." said Hermione.

"No, that's OK. It probably wasn't anything important anyway." replied Kingsley.

"And what if it was important?" asked Ginny.

"Then it can wait. Now hush."

Harry in the meantime put his gun in the face of one of the WB guys.

"Are those your people?!" he asked in a threatening voice.

"No! No! I swear I don't know anything about this."

Then sounds of gunfire reached them. Ron carefully checked the corridor but it was clean.

"Kingsley's not responding. Shall we punch through?" he shouted.

"No! That's too risky, somebody would surely get hurt. The attackers probably kidnapped and interrogated a cleaner working here and thus they probably know where to find us. We need to move these people to a safer location."

In the meantime, Tom and his people were fighting with the security guards. The resistance was stronger then he expected but they managed to pin the guards down nevertheless.

Tom then ordered a group of terrorists to keep the guards occupied while he, Paul a the rest of their troop continued upstairs. They arrived in the corridor just to see Ron and last few people disappearing behind a corner. They opened fire and Ron responded with two shots. It was futile to waste ammunition at such a distance.

Harry, Ron and others got to the higher floor. It was unused and only seldomly cleaned. There was a big, dusty hall. Some boxes, crates and other stuff was stored there. Ron ordered people to take cover while Harry typed an SMS for Kingsley.

Tom and his followers followed upstairs. When they passed, two security personnel slipped from a utility room and headed downstairs.

On the upper floor, Tom and others attacked Harry's and Ron's group which was covering behind crates and old furniture. Harry and Ron looked at each other and Ron then questioningly nodded towards JKR and WB guys. Harry grinned.


	5. Chapter 5

Endgame

Bullets and pieces of wood and concrete were flying everywhere. Terrorist were goaded by the lack of returning gunfire and charged. In that moment Harry and Ron popped out of their cover and attacked. Harry was prepared to deflect any enemy fire but their attack was so swift that there was no need.

Terrorist took cover again and Harry and Ron ran to JKR and guys from WB. Ron emptied the rest of his magazine in covering fire and reloaded.

"Any ideas?" shouted Harry.

"Yep! Let's save ourselves and leave everybody else to die!" responded Ron.

"How could you do such a thing! This is all your fault! We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you!" cried one of the WB guys.

"Do you need to hear more?" asked Ron.

"Nope. Let's go." replied Harry.

Another WB guy reprimanded the first one and told him to shut up.

"Wait! You can't leave us here." pleaded JKR.

"Why not? I'm not like the Harry you created and who risked and in the end even sacrificed his life for a society of arrogant and ungrateful wizards who made a hell from his life. Why should I bleed for you when your deaths can solve everything. No more films and everybody will talk about your deaths instead of writing stupid fanfictions!"

After saying those words, Harry and Ron sent several bullets to terrorists who again covered.

"Please. Just get us out of here. We promise not to cause you trouble anymore!" cried one of the WB guys.

"So you are giving in to our demands?" asked Ron.

"Do you seriously want to discuss the cause now?" asked another WB guy.

"Yes!" shouted Ron. "We want a final word in every remaining film. And you have nothing more than our word that we won't make you to remake the already made and yet unreleased film from a scratch."

One of the WB lawyers heard that and cried, "But even a mere altering of the upcoming movie will cost a lot of money. Who is going to pay that, huh?"

"OK, OK, I'll pay it since it's all my fault anyway!" yelled JKR.

"Now that's the word!" said Ron.

"However, should you later decide to forget about your promise... Well, you don't want to find out." added Harry.

Both of them then moved to their actors.

"Hey, guys. We need a bit of your help." said Harry.

"From us?" asked Ron's actor.

"Yep. Do you remember our demand not to remove your clothes in public? Well, this is your last opportunity to indulge yourselves. We are going to do that trick from the _Lethal Weapon 4_."

"What?"

"Just strip to boxers and distract them!"

"But they are going to shoot us!"

"No, they won't. We'll shoot them first."

The actors still didn't want to do that so Harry aimed at them and threatened, "Do it or I'll shoot you myself!"

His actor paled and instead of replying "Then shoot me!" started to unbutton his shirt. Harry and Ron prepared.

The terrorist were showering the hall with lead. Then they stopped for a moment and Tom shouted, "Give up! You can't survive this!"

Suddenly, Harry's and Ron's actors left their covers. They were clad only in their boxers and were trying to impersonate ducks. The terrorists' eyes went wide open and every one of them thought, "Oh my! Harry's and Ron's actors only in their boxers. Nobody is going to believe me this!"

Harry and Ron used the distraction and commenced their assault. They emerged from the cover and opened fire while running towards the terrorists. The terrorist were being shot dead before they could aim and those who managed to shoot at Harry or Ron either missed or Harry deflected their bullets.

When they got near, Harry used his telekinesis to pry an SMG from one of the terrorists and it went flying to Ron who caught it in his other hand. Harry then shot his last bullet in the magazine and his gun remained in the extended position while the empty magazine fell on the floor. With a lightning speed, he inserted another magazine and the slider slid back and drew a new bullet in the bullet chamber in doing so.

Tom and Paul saw that the fight was lost and so, while their comrades were dying, they started to retreat, covering themselves with fire.

They ducked behind a corner and Paul asked, "What a hell was that?"

"No idea. Let's beat it!" replied Tom.

They wanted to take the stairs down but were met with a gunfire from the security guards who in the meantime slaughtered the anti-HP terrorists on the ground floor. And so, they went upstairs instead. Harry and Ron went after them and chased them all they up to the roof.

When Tom and Paul reached the roof, they separated. Ron went after Paul who was shooting at him from a rifle. Then Ron hit him in his shoulder and Paul staggered and dropped the rifle. Paul then started to run away from Ron and took a sidearm in his uninjured arm. He was near the edge of the roof when Ron caught him. Paul turned to him and wanted to shoot but Ron was faster and made a few holes in his chest. Paul then lurched towards the edge.

"Please, fall over the edge, fall over the edge. It's so cool when they fall over the edge." pleaded Ron silently but it wasn't to be. Paul just fell on the roof's surface, only a few centimetres from it's edge. Ron looked around and when he saw nobody looking, he kicked the corpse down.

In the meantime, Tom had far greater ideas then merely his survival. He hid behind a ventilation chimney and opened his palmtop. Then he quickly started to type.

Originally, Tom wanted to type that after his planned victory but now he had to post at least something. In less than a minute he was finished and was only one click from publishing his text when he was hit by a bullet.

"Get away from it!" shouted Harry but there was no need - Tom was bleeding heavily. Harry kicked Tom's gun away and then looked at the palm top.

"What is this? A detonating interface of a bomb you planted here?" asked Harry. Then his face paled with anger. The text on the screen depicted a story in which Voldemort defeated his opposition and captured Harry and Ron. Then he... dominated them and kept doing so until they both fell madly in love with him. The rest of the documents on the hard-drive was similar in nature, always with Voldemort as the main character.

"You son of a...! You are a slash writer!" bellowed Harry and emptied the rest of his magazine in the whimpering terrorist.

***

And that was it. The lawsuit ended by an amicable settlement.

The terrorist attack of course went public shortly after it ended. Harry, Kingsley and others agreed that it would be better if nobody knew that those terrorist were anti-HP extremists. Hence, they made JKR to make a public announcement and dictated its contents.

JKR told press that she and guys from WB and some actors had had a meeting on which they had discussed the situation with obscene fan-fictions. During that meeting, they had been allegedly attacked by a group which had been fascinated by Voldemort and Death Eaters. She also said that people shouldn't take her books so seriously and hinted that the content of next movies will differ from books.

Harry's and Ron's actors underwent a military training but it was a far cry from a real thing. They only visited the military base where the drills were being held and after each "lesson" went back home. And it was all paid by tax payers.

Harry, Ron and the advisers they hired started to modify the yet unreleased film. They had no clue what they were doing but WB had no choice but to grate their teeth.

***

"Finished. It's finished." said Ron exuberantly. "All the data are processed, filtered and categorized. The AI supplied by Hermione plotted the fastest possible path. We can go after them now."

It was shortly before the release of the first film they worked on. Harry looked at the screen of Ron's notebook and smiled.

"OK, let's go. A privet military jet is waiting." he said.

Not too much later, Harry and Ron knocked on a door of a house. A business like looking gentleman opened.

"Good afternoon Mr. Smith." said Harry and smiled. "We are from the Fan-fiction Awards Institute. Do you write under a pseudonym Passionist?"

Mr. Smith blinked a few times and then looked behind him. His wife and two children were having a lunch not far from him.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" he asked. Then they walked to the backyard.

"Have you written a story _More then friends, more then brothers_ about Harry and Ron?" asked Ron.

"Well yes, that was me." answered Mr. Smith sheepishly.

Harry and Ron looked at each other. Then both at the same time, they punched him in his face. Mr. Smith was on the ground in a matter of seconds and the only reason why he was still conscious was because Harry and Ron held back (to prolong his suffering).

"This will teach you to write slash you sick!" shouted Ron while he was jumping on his ribs.

Later, Harry and Ron knocked on yet another door. This time, a twelve years old boy opened.

Harry and Ron again looked at each other and the parents of the boy found him later tied to a chair, with all his slash documents opened on the screen.

Another day, a seventeen year old girl opened. Harry and Ron looked at each other, hesitation in their eyes. That was something that wasn't in their plan.

"Good morning. Is your fan-fiction pseudonym Popsicle?"

"Yeah." said the girl.

"Have you written a slash story _Black, Red and Blond_ about Harry, Ron and Draco?" asked Harry.

"Yeah."

Ron raised his fist. It was shaking. Then he resigned, he couldn't do it.

Harry then asked, "Now, what would your parents say about this?"

"Dad isn't living with us and mom is OK with it since she hates men since dad left."

"But it's sick! Why are you writing that stuff?" exclaimed Ron.

"Because it makes me so..."

"No, no, no! I don't want to hear it!" shouted Ron and covered his ears.

"And I'm letting my boyfriend to read it too and it too makes him..."

"No! I'm not listening!" yelled Ron.

"Wait a minute!" cut Harry in. "Where can we find your boyfriend miss?"

The girl gave them an address and soon, there was yet another heavy beating going on.

***

The modified HP film raised some questions and reviewers wrote that the film could have been better without those modifications.

At the time, Harry and Ron were already working on the last film and they were building it from a scratch. It contained super-mega-ultra tough Harry and Ron who were characterized as symbols of masculinity and anti-homosexuality. The film strongly condemned Dumbledore's orientation. Also, Harry shot Draco for making a homosexual remark and Ron shot Crabbe and Goyle for disguising as girls in the previous film.

And then it all went to cinemas and the first reviews came. Harry, Ron, their wives and few other people were sitting at a porch of one of the houses in the Psi-Ops base.

"So let's take a look at it." said Ron and opened a newspaper. There was a big headline: "The last Harry Potter film is a chaser!"

Everybody laughed and Harry said, "Ha! I bet they are now preparing a lawsuit against us."

"I bet. Too bad that they can't suit us since we don't officially exist." added Ron.

As they laughed, Ron turned to another page. When he saw it, he banged his fist on the table and loudly cursed.

"What's the matter?" asked Ginny.

Ron showed them the headline. It stated: "Ron's actor is engaged with Ginny's actress and Harry's actor is engaged with Hermione's actress!"

Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione started cursing their actors while everybody else laughed. Ginny and Hermione immediately gazed those laughers down.

"They did it on purpose! They did it on purpose!" yelled Ron.

"We won't let this happen! We shall sue them again!" added Harry.

"I'm afraid that's impossible." stated Kingsley and when the others looked at him, he continued, "They are merely doing what you demanded from them. You can't sue them for that. And there are no relations between them that would make their engagements taboo."

A few weeks later, newspaper printed an article which said that the engagements were off and that the whole thing was probably a joke. However, it didn't stop an avalanche of Harry-Hermione and Ron-Ginny fan-fictions. Luckily, nobody at the base dared to remind the four about that since Ginny wouldn't support any jokes this time and nobody wanted to face her wrath.

After the things calmed down, Harry and Ginny sat in their living room one evening. The kids were already asleep and the couple was drinking some wine.

"You know, there was this thing that I noticed in those books." said Ginny.

"Huh?" asked Harry.

"It's written there that we are supposed to have three kids. And we have only two."

"Well, yeah..." replied Harry and rubbed his scar.


End file.
